Thomas Family DVR

Shopping for Zuzu

2012-01-06T17:39:00.000-08:00

We were missing a couple of things for Zuzu (mainly changing pad and covers and diapers). We thought it would be cool for each of the girls to pick out an outfit as a present for Zuzu. Here are the pics. Of course mom and dad had to take part as well! :D

Fin's selection

Maya's (a tutu of course)

Dad's (although truth be told he originally had a pair of stripy osh-kosh overalls instead of the pink pants)

Mom's

We got the other items as well and I think tomorrow is the day we turn on the heat and attack her room. I think we might also work on the car seats as well. Fingers crossed that they all fit!

35+5

2012-01-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't added any pictures since 28+6 so I thought I'd better add another, even if it is an unflattering pair. Here we are...no more than 6 weeks from Zuzu's arrival! Crazy. We better get some work done around this house!

Daddy Blog (1/2/12)

2012-01-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

Counting Your Blessings

By: Danny Thomas

The end of the year has, oh, since I was a young kid, been a time of reflection for me…

it happens by reflex

reflex reflection….

I suppose it comes with all the thoughtfulness of Christmastime…

and the inevitable letdown that happens after so much celebration…

I suppose it comes from the tendency of society at large to look back
at the end of the year, to review… I guess, even if I tried, I couldn’t help but get caught up in the swell of wistfulness that the end of the year brings.

I am not big on resolutions, my feeling is that if I want to make a change in my life, I should be able to do that at any time, and waiting for the end of the year is a cop out. But, I enjoy the opportunity to take a look at the year and the choices I made, and to examine the path(s) that lead me to those choices… I try to be objective about the outcomes, not to place too much judgment on the outcomes, I try to not look at them as wins and fails, but rather as turns on a path, forks in a road. I think the analysis is good and I honor the reflex, I think an opportunity for analysis is an opportunity for progress…

But I end up with a feeling of general malaise, uncertainty….

Because so many of those questions don’t have answers…

They are all the what if’s…

The coulda shoulda woulda’s…

And the other side of that coin – the unknowable future…

We are up for a lot of big changes… I need to stop waiting for things to settle… chaos is the routine, it seems…

The constant changes, the things that fall away, the things we try to cling to…

Two nights ago, those thoughts and questions kept me up late into the night… or late into the early morning really…I avoided thinking about them, writing about them, I watched mindless television, folded laundry, surfed the internet, but those doubts about my path persisted… Eventually I made my way up to bed, tired, but still distracted, and trying to distract myself from that distraction by reading… eventually my mind lost the battle with my eyes and they slammed shut.

Two minutes later ‘Zilla came in and asked for snuggles…
Knowing, or rather, hoping that the weariness I had just succumbed to would pull me easily back into the land of nod, I followed ‘Zilla back to her bed, lay down next to her and rested my hand on her back…

It took all of about 30 seconds to feel my mood change…

The words from a song in White Christmas which has been on heavy rotation in our house this holiday season came to mind…

As I lay there listening to my girl’s breath, I started to count my blessings and it brought me back in to the moment…

And, while I do believe that there is value in taking stock in the year, and looking at where you’ve come to in the year, and that one can’t help but plan for the future a little bit, just to exist…

The key is now.

For me one of the things that keeps me tethered to the now, that keeps me in the moment, or maybe makes it okay for me to exist here, is my family.

I have many blessings to be grateful for, my family helps me see that, and for that I am most grateful of all…

A Surprise Visit

2012-01-02T17:13:00.000-08:00

The girls got a surprise visit from Auntie Kate! We didn't know what the dates were for a while and so we decided to just let it be a surprise...which was awesome.

Fin hanging with Mel

Maya keeping an eye out for the surprise

The surprise making her way up to the house

AUNTIE KATE!!!!

Hugs, squeezes and squeals all around!

A dance party eventually began.

Later an Auntie Kate pig-pile.

Look at those cute girls!

The next morning Auntie Kate walked to the bus stop. (It was damn cold.)

Brrrr....

Even more brrrrr....

It was a quick overnight visit but we all got a good Auntie Kate fix. The girls got lots of snuggles and mom and dad had good conversation and even a game of scrabble!

Hanging with Grandma Babe

2011-12-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

Before we left town we stopped in to have some quiet time with Grandma Babe. It is hard for her to hear during the chaos of Christmas so it was nice for the girls to spend some quality time together.

Four Generations!

Christmas Day

2011-12-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

The good thing about having an exhausting and long Christmas Eve is that everyone slept in until just after 7:30 on Christmas morning! Wahoo!

Let me just start by saying how much I love this picture. Fin adores her big sister! A lot.

Both looking at the camera...sort of.

Maya by her stocking and Santa present.

Fin waiting patiently...although truth be told, I'm not sure she was quite awake.

Maya got just what she wanted! A Barbie Styling Head! Wahoo!

Fin got more babies!

And took to combing their hair immediately!

Danny got his 2011 book of photos with each of the girls.

Fin took a keen interest in telling the stories of each picture in both her book and Maya's book. It was amazing to listen to her brain recount the stories of the year.

You can see the chaos! We were definitely blessed!

We enjoyed monkey bread and bacon wrapped little weenies before heading off to Albert Lea to spend time with the Kuchenbecker crew!

Hanging with Grandma Barb chatting.

New clothes, new jewelry and a harmonica plus a comfy chair = happiness.

More snuggles with Grandma Barb.

Present overload

Holy crazy face!

Barbies and more Barbies!

New hats + even more crazy face!

What a wonderful day and evening! Such generosity and sense of sharing! Definitely a wonderful end to the Christmas holiday!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T18:10:00.000-08:00

We started out the morning by opening a few presents. It feels better to offer the girls a few presents over a couple of days rather than ambush them with all of them at once. Danny even got to open one!

Tearing in!

Playing with the Strawberry Shortcake house.

Dad opening his present! Apparently it was a good surprise!

Doing a little fashion show!

Then it was off to Christmas Eve lunch at Grandma Babe's with the entire Wesely crew!

Giving Grandma Babe a hug.

A crew sitting down and chatting (Uncle Mike, Grandma Babe, Grandma Ormson, Cousin Jason)

A little love...

A little more...

Fin could often be found near the candy table with this face.

When asked what she had in her mouth we would get this face...

There were songs sung for Santa

And Santa's great arrival

And yes, the creepy Santa lives on

This year, for some reason, the Santa's broke out in a dance.

There was lots of present opening (here Maya opened her clogs)

The girls, of course, decided to put on a dance for everyone

And eventually, donning their matching Perry the Platypus pajamas, everyone fell asleep!

Pre-Christmas in Owatonna

2011-12-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

We drove down a couple of days before the holiday so we would have a little bit of time to relax before the craziness of presents, Santa, driving, etc began.

The girls were awesome in the car and we were able to fit everything in...which was no small feat.

The first thing requested as we pulled into town were baths. Since our house only has a shower, bath time at Grandma Sandy's has become even more special!

The next morning it was all about ice cream for breakfast, of course.

Danny went all the way and put the bacon on his ice cream as well. I think it was eventually topped off with a bit of chocolate and caramel to boot!

We went for a very, very cold walk around Central Park to look at the lights and burn off a little excess energy.

Loons.

Loons attempting to lick one another?

Awkward family photo?

Where is the joy?

Running Grandma

The girls loved being down for the visit and seem to have Grandma wrapped around their fingers and heartstrings!

Daddy Blog (12/20/11)

2011-12-20T21:31:00.000-08:00

"Like a Giant? or a Robot?"

By: Danny Thomas

last Christmas I blogged about believing in Santa.
I still do.
St. Nicolas is the embodiment of faith, magic and giving…
Christmas is so much more than Santa tho, strange, I know…

I have such weird conflicting mixed feelings about Christmas
and the whole dogma, being a critically thinking, agnostic, capitalism/consumption-questioning, sustainabilitynik, buying in to Christmas can be hard…

having kids makes it easier…

being a magic-believing, faithist, helps too…

the other day the girls and I went for a walk
we passed a nativity set up in a neighbor’s yard…
luckily it was one that I could stand to look at.
clearly hand made, of wood and nails, hand painted, labored over in a garage.
Born of faith, devotion, exuberance, and probably ecstatic craftsmanship.

not one of these “Power Plastic Nativity” jobbees – I kid you not, I saw a nativity last Saturday that included Mr. and Mrs. Claus and Rudolph, now I don’t call myself a Christian and am in no position to be righteous, but I really hope those people were being ironic…

anyway, as we looked at the folks gathered around the swaddling in the manger, another one of those inevitable questions came up…

“who are they?”

I answered as plainly and honestly as I could, I find these kinds of religious questions tricky, I try to be objective… I also, oddly enough, happen to love the nativity story, it is another contradiction and strange aspect to my personality that I myself don’t understand…

anyway…

“Mary and Joseph are in the middle there, and in between them is baby Jesus.
The men on the left are The Magi, and the lady up on the roof, well what do you think she is? “

“an angel?”

“yup”

I then proceeded to tell my agnostic interpretation of the nativity story to the girls… writing that, I don’t know how it’s even possible… really, but that’s what I did.

I just told them, in plain speech, about Mary and Joseph making the journey to Bethlehem, Lil’ Chaos asked why they went to Bethlehem, and I couldn’t remember, she speculated on a good doctor being there, I have since done my research and learned about Augustus Caesar’s decree about the tax and all that… not a detail that I think Lil’ Chaos is interested in at this point.

We talked about the angel and the star and the Magi (an aspect of the story that I think is extraordinarily fascinating… and woefully under-examined) Zilla asked if the wisemen brought the animals, which segued nicely to talking about the manger, and how Joseph and Mary should have called ahead to make a reservation…

at that point I was feeling pretty good about the conversation, but the hardest question was yet to pop out…

“Is he still alive?”

“Who?”

“Jesus…”

looooong pause….

“Well kiddo, that is a really hard question to answer… nope his body is not still alive, but he has become more than… bigger than a person….”

Lil’ Chaos: “Like a giant?”

“Zilla: “Or a robot?”

“Nope… like an idea… that is why the angel showed the Magi where to go, they knew that Jesus being born was a big deal…”

And that was that, as far as the conversation went… we strolled on chasing squirrels and shadowdancing as we went.

but I sure kept thinking about it for a while…

And here is another great thing about Christmas…

because of that conversation, I feel closer to my kids, and closer to Jesus…
Still not calling myself a Christian… but that’s a blog for another time…

Just loving the numinous nature of Christmas time, the Christmas spirit and the magic of family…

Unseasonably Warm

2011-12-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

The weather this month has been incredible.

Bike riding in December in Fargo/Moorhead?

The girls love it...although they are pining for snow as well.

They are crazy creatures and they keep us entertained (and busy).

Painting Gone...Bad?

2011-12-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

Today after swim lessons the girls decided they wanted to do a little painting. Sounds good.

We got some lovely artwork!

A little bit later I heard Maya say, "I'm the Grinch." She wandered out with green hands. Fin followed suit quickly.

A little bit later I heard Maya say, "They can't stop us." I started to say something along the lines of "Paints are for painting not for having fun" and realized just how stupid that sounded. So I stopped. I figured, what the hell. We'll throw them in the shower.

Maya came out with paint up to her elbows and so did Fin. At this point, Danny said something about as logical as my statement. He got a bit fussed and followed them into the dining room. I think, stupidly, cool he has this handled.

A few minutes later Danny comes out and said, "I stirred the pot. I just smeared paint on Maya's face."

Awesome.

Here is where we ended up.

Then we stripped them and threw them in the shower!

Daddy Blog (12/5/11)

2011-12-05T21:34:00.000-08:00

A Few Things Have Just Been

Hitting Me Over the Head, Gender Wise

By: Danny Thomas

Even before I had kids I was angry at the world, or more specifically humans.

I mean, I have a sense of humor

And I can see the light and joy in a lot of things.

I can even see the bittersweet beauty in things that are heartbreakingly sad

This is humanity.

But sometimes the anger and frustration I feel
As a father, and as a father of daughters
Makes the anger I felt toward humanity pre-fatherhood seem like small beans.

(there are going to be more uses of the word “fuck” in this blog than I’ve ever used before)

Look, probably by many people’s standards I am a completely disqualified feminist.
I gawk, and I guess I think it’s okay, I look at, and enjoy the shape and allure of an attractive human shape, be it male or female (admittedly, I have a broader definition of what that is than mass media and culture at large),

I enjoy pinups, I think porn and strippers have a place in this world, my kids play with Barbie Dolls and watch movies about Disney princesses – we have all kinds of toys and entertainment in our house that I’m sure would fail many people’s definition of healthy body-image-developing influences.

There is a real challenge there because I want my children to have confidence and healthy body image, but, I am not interested in sheltering my children, I am not interested in hiding the world from them. My goal is to foster confident, self aware, engaged, and insightful spirits, with strong psyches who can look at a Barbie doll and determine for themselves what it represents about our culture and what it means to them as individuals. However…

I am becoming increasingly aware that, particularly in the case of women, our culture is not designed to help me with that goal.
A few things have happened in the last three or four days that have pointed that out to me.

Not that I was ignorant of it before, I live with a woman who’s academic focus is largely based onGender Studies…
believe me, there have been times when, in our house, we have eaten, breathed, and slept “female representation in the media” along with queer theory, race, ethnicity, sexuality, and location…
I am glad.

Frankly, part of the reason I married my wife is that she was the first woman I fell for who had enough Yang to compensate for my overabundance of Yin. Hell, part of the reason I asked her to marry me is because she told me I would.
Anyway, over the last few days, the Thanksgiving Holiday I guess…
a few things have just been hitting me over the head, gender wise…

First, we watched the Macy’s parade on Thanksgiving morning.
It’s a family tradition that we honor, it is theatrical, and ridiculous, and weird, and surreal…
I enjoy that part of it.

We rarely, almost never watch live, commercial t.v. anymore – we stream most everything we watch, in fact, the kids don’t really understand commercials at all – that is a trip for another blog.

The point is, watching these commercials I was struck over and over by the tenor of them, almost all of them were geared toward women (the parade demographic, I suppose)…
I have long taken umbrage with home care products being marketed exclusively to women, but the thing that was jumping out at me, and, as I have said, I know this isn’t new, it just struck me as… old fashioned, last century, as we watched t.v. on Thanksgiving 2011.

What jumped out at me was all of these fashion, hygiene, and cosmetic products basically telling women that they are inadequate, in essence telling my daughters that they were not good enough. I wanted to holler, “Fuck You!” at the TV. – I may actually have. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I wanted to go Elvis on the TV…

Apparently, if you’re a woman, your body needs skin protection, this soap, that eye liner, butt lifting this, boob lifting that…

The fucking deodorant was even pissing me off, I muttered under my breath, “we are human, we smell, it’s actually a good thing, fuckers…”

Here are my beautiful, perfect, raw children… Oh man it was just… not the way I’d ever seen things before, I guess, so stark, bare… a new light. That must have set a sensitive tone for the weekend.

The next thing, I can’t remember if it was Friday or Saturday morning, my nearly six-year-old, she is only almost six, mind you, asks me if she’s fat or skinny… I was floored.

I knew that this was on the list of inevitable, challenging questions I was going to have to deal with as a father,
along with, “Have you ever done drugs?” and, “Can I go to a boys & girls sleep over?” and “Can I borrow $500?”
Believe me I figured it was coming, just not at five years old.

“I think you are perfectly sized.” I said. Which is not a lie. She is proportionate… as if it even fucking matters, but now I am racing to find books to read, as well as books to read to her, about healthy body image…. Fuck.

And finally, this afternoon, as she and I trolled through a stack of pictures and homework, scanning the keepers and round filing the rest, we came across a coloring packet she worked on in kindergarten.
The packet, clearly put together by a well-intentioned teacher, volunteer, or TA was titled, “Community Helpers”
and included public professionals that are important for kids to be aware of and recognize, as well as a few other professional people.
Doctor, Policeman, Farmer, Baker – all men. In fact all the professionals were men – except, of course, the teacher and the nurse.

Now – my kids know, in their personal lives: female cops, female farmers, female doctors, male nurses – so not only is this coloring packet at best: careless, at worst: bigoted, it does not represent the reality it is purporting to convey. Argh.
I was so disappointed.

Believe me the school, and the teacher will be getting a letter, not that I blame them, I blame our culture, but I also feel obligated to let these educators know I think they could do better.

I’ve wanted to be a dad since I was 20 years old, and I feel blessed to be one, a million times over blessed, beyond measure. And I thank and honor the many friends and strangers who have opted not to have children, leaving space and opportunity for mine, and their peers, however, sometimes the challenges are so huge, and insurmountable I feel that all I can do is fail. It is a proven fact that parenting is a Sisyphean task, so I guess I’ll keep my head down, rolling that rock up the hill, swearing at the TV, and hoping that my efforts pay off, with strong, independent, self aware daughters, who are happy with how their bodies smell and feel and look…

Tree Decorating

2011-12-04T14:43:00.000-08:00

Putting up the tree was a bit challenging this year.

Every year the tree stand never quite makes it into the Christmas storage box right away. Last year wasn't any different and in the hulabaloo we lost one of the bolts. So we had to run to the hardware store to get a replacement. No big whoop.

Then of course, since we go to a do-it-yourself tree place the stump has a few nobs and bumps that we have to saw off to get it to fit in the stand.

More and more struggles. Between Danny, Mom and I, there were more swears than necessary...I'm pretty sure.

Eventually after an hour or two of fighting we decided it was time to get rid of the old metal stand that we've been swearing at for the last 10 years and get a new fancy one.

Holy hell!!! Why didn't we do that years ago?!?!?! Brilliant. (This is a good picture of the gaps caused when we removed the "twin".

This year's tree decorating costume was swimsuits. This is about as much as Fin got into decorating the tree. It was just "too pokey" for Fin to deal with!

The tree with lights.

Decorating.

All done! We love it!!!

The Christmas Tree Hunt

2011-12-03T12:21:00.000-08:00

This year we took the trip back out to Priewe Farm to get our Christmas tree. We went with the Theye's and the Wintersteen's and for a special treat, Grandma Sandy was in town!

Last year we trudged through A LOT of snow and this year there wasn't a flake on the ground. It was definitely easier to get around and chop down the tree but there was a certain mood missing! We had a great time anyhow!

In front of our chosen tree. Although...you can't really see it.

One with Grandma Sandy!

A good shot of the tree! It's PERFECT!!!

Maya and Danny checking it out!

Fin having a mental breakdown. She is such a summer baby!

Sometimes only a snuggle from Grandma will make things better.

Timberrrrrrr!

Well, our perfect tree had a siamese tree! Here in the interior tree.

Pulling the tree to our car!

Our perfect tree became a little less perfect with the loss of its twin but we still love it nonetheless.

On top of the car.

Warming up and having a snack.

Still breaking down.

Bunk Bed Building

2011-12-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

In anticipation of Zuzu's arrival we decided to tempt the girls into sharing rooms by offering up bunk beds. Mel's parents were doing an IKEA trip and were gracious enough to pick up bunk beds for the girls and a crib for Zuzu.

Grandma Sandy "just happened to be in town" which was fortuitous. I'm pretty sure there would have been bloodshed had she not been here to help us out.

First we started with a giant stack of lumber. Maya did an awesome job of looking for the pieces that we needed!

The girls were awesome helpers. Maya would find wood. Fin would count out nuts and bolts and hand them out.

Maya got into the action as well.

She took her work very, very serious!

Upright!

It took 3 hours. The kids were a bit loopy by the time we were finishing.

Getting in bed for the first time.

Happy, happy, happy!

Snoozing.

Zuzu's room. Oy.

The next morning, Maya put the finishing touches on the pink tree and it fits beautifully in Maya and Finley's Big Sister Suite!

Pink Tree Surprise

2011-12-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

Auntie Kate sent a surprise package to the girls. They were ecstatic when the found out it was a pink tree for their new sister digs!

Straightening and primping.

It was fortuitous because Grandma Elaine and Grandpa John sent a couple of Christmas ornaments.

Fin and her penguin.

Maya and her unicorn.

Posing by the tree.

Lit and decorate (at least a tiny bit before the big move upstairs tomorrow).

Fin's Winter Party

2011-12-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

Cobber Kids had a winter party. The kids put on a program of holiday songs and then a gingerbread making event.

We had a great time and the girls got to build their first gingerbread houses...which, as you can imagine, included a lot of sampling of candy! :D

First the program...

She was very much into all of her actions!

The first bit of icing on her finger. She wanted Daddy to lick it off.

Maya didn't require the same kind of assistance! :D

Teacher Kate watching as Finley prepares candy for...her mouth? or her house?

Busy at work.

Both girls concentrating.

A supreme lick!

Fin's house.

Proud of her creation....with a little help from Dad.

Maya did hers 100% on her own!

Christmas Lights

2011-11-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

Last year we weren't able to put up lights outside and so this year the girls requested lights outside. We discussed colors and styles and they chose "rainbow".

So, Thanksgiving weekend, in the beautiful 50 degree weather, we put some blanket lights on the overgrown bushes along our house. We love them and they make us smile quite a bit. The girls adore them!

Photo Shoot

2011-11-25T18:52:00.000-08:00

Fin requested a photo shoot. Here are some of my favorites. She is quite a character!

Cherry Pie

2011-11-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

One of Danny's New Year's resolutions was to make more pie. Well, since he made zero pies in 2010 it would take just one to fulfill his resolution. So, the day after Thanksgiving he and the girls got to making a cherry (and peach) pie! It was quite the event. There were highs and lows but in the end Daddy made a pie that he loved! (He was the only one who likes cherry/peach pie apparently.)

Working the dough.

Concentration! She took the pie making seriously.

On the other hand, this yahoo....

...did as well...at times...

The big one opening cherries and the little one keeping a watchful eye on what the big one is up to!

Dumping...

All of the yahoos together!

Baked...

On the plate...

Thanksgiving Festivities

2011-11-24T18:15:00.000-08:00

What a fabulous day.

We started the morning with popcorn, root beer floats and the parade. As a side note, we had promised the girls those treats the night before but we ran out of time. But it was kind of a fun way to start the day...a special treat!

While the kids watched the parade, Danny and I got the turkey in the oven, green beans and stuffing prepped and then settled down to watch with the kids.

There were phone calls to family to say hello and get final recipes.

The weather was gorgeous today...nearly 60. Danny took the girls for a bike ride to pick up a wreath that we ordered. While they were out I made the potatoes and gravy and cooked the beans and stuffing. It was great timing and nice to have outside time for the kids and quiet time for mom.

Dinner was amazing. We passed a leaf that Maya had picked up on one of her adventures and said what we were thankful for. Family, health, and Zuzu were the common offerings.

After lunch the girls played Starfall (ABC/reading website) while Danny and I watched figure skating and football...aka...took a nap.

There was a pretty intense dance party that got things moving and grooving. Lots of shrieking and giggling and busting a move!

The dance party ended, of course, with a wrestling match. How Danny survived this without barfing is beyond me!

Then we settled in for a little Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. The night ended with the girls singing as they "cleaned" up their rooms. The lyrics were something like this..."I didn't do it. You did it. You clean it up. I won't. Yes you will." It went on and on. I'm sure you get the drift!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

Winter Lights Parade

2011-11-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the big "lighting the lights" event. A friend posted the link to the parade on facebook and we decided to head on down and have a look at the parade. We met Mel and Odin there and had a great time. Lots of lights, lots of candy and just a little bit of wintery wind.

The 3 wingnuts hanging out and waiting for the festivities to begin.

There were lots of sirens to start. Fin didn't think they were all that cool.

For the non-midwesterners. A mini-snow plow decked out in festive parade gear!

Maya loved it all!

Mel and Danny looking cute, cute, cute!

And perhaps THE best worst picture ever! Holy hell. She is mid Tootsie Roll chew. Brilliant!

Maya's Pancakes

2011-11-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

On Thursday Maya and Jen wandered over to campus to order a locally-grown, organic, free-range, blah, blah, blah turkey from a special event. While we were there Maya was able to mix up the ingredients for pancakes at one of the booths. So this morning after swim lessons we made them. Enjoyable.

Watching them on the griddle. (Note the hand on the hip.)

Pouring the last giant, Maya-sized pancake.

Sitting down to eat!

Fin had...any guesses? Anyone? PEANUT BUTTER TOAST!!!

Danny declared Maya the new pancake queen! She is pretty proud of the title!

28+6

2011-11-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted much in the way of pics of me yet. So here is Zuzu at 28 weeks 6 days.

Everything is going well thus far. She is measuring about a week ahead but that is not surprising for the usual size of the kiddos at birth. I passed my 1-hour test but we did find out that my hemoglobin is really low...so iron supplements here we go. But I'm not going to complain one bit because I don't have gestational diabetes!!!

Maya and Fin are scheduled to go to a Mom's Helper class mid-December and then Danny and I will have a tour of the birth center a couple of days later. It still seems like 11 weeks is a long time away considering all that has to happen between now and then but I know it will be February very, very soon!

First Snow

2011-11-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

It was really only a dusting but the girls were excited to get out and play and have snack (of course) in the snow!

Daddy Blog (11/17/11)

2011-11-17T09:56:00.000-08:00

Words Can Be Like Huggles

if you’ve read my blog before

this may be a case of stating the obvious

but, I’m going to state it anyway

I love words.

I love language

and wordplay

dialects

and dialogue

I believe that language is an organism

a rhizome

that it is meant to grow and evolve

just as we do

just as our minds do.

from an early age, the 2nd grade I believe,

I realized that I had a home in words…

that language was a place for me

and it had to do with learning about poetry

and e.e. cummings especially…

the idea that language has rules

but you can deign to break them

if by breaking them

you express yourself more deeply

if not more clearly…

ohhh I get jazzed just thinking about it now…

thinking about that feeling

words

i grew up in a house that fostered those feelings

a house of bookworms

a prominent feature of the house I grew up in

where my parents still live

is a built-in bookshelf.

my brother and both of my parents

are voracious readers

it’s no surprise that I married a voracious reader too!

in my house

growing up

wordplay

and word games

were the usual

and long conversations

about this news item, or current event,

or that philosophical theory or mythical allegory

over dinner

were standard…

to the point that family friends

still talk about

the banter

at our house.

and even my grandmother

would comment about our

unique, stimulating dinner dialogue…

now here I am

as a parent

on the brink of experiencing all of that delight

in a new way

it’s wonderful.

The five-year-old is learning to

read and write!

sounding out words and phrases like

love, and donut, and do not disturb…

and I realize that

our dialogue

and our game play,

our relationship

is taking on a whole new dimension

and I am thrilled.

The three-year-old is not far behind…

but her language development is at a different

fun stage

words and wordplay

using words to express herself

means sometimes making up new words out of thin air,

combining words she knows

some are for play, nonsense words (I love these a lot)

and some are utilitarian (these I love too)

and some are just for more clear expression of what she’s feeling

a direct line to her heart, as it were. (I love these the most)

my favorite of these

made up just this morning

combines hug and snuggle

huggle

how can you not love huggle?

and how amazing that

my three-year-old

knows that a huggle is what she needs

and knows and understands our strange language

well enough to make up the word.

miraculous.

Gymnastics

2011-11-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

We have taken a few months off of gymnastics class but Fin had been expressing interest in taking classes again. So we got our act together and got the girls enrolled. Maya is in Red Stars and Fin is in Little Sparks. This is the first gymnastics class that Fin is doing without a parent and she loves it!

Some pics of the girls.

Ballet Class

2011-11-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

We decided this fall would be a good time to get Maya enrolled in a dance class. Her interest in it hadn't waned and so we sort of happened upon Gasper's enrollment period and a signed her up. She is in Ballet 2 and is loving it!

Some shots from the class.

She is always under a watchful eye!

Grease

2011-11-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

Mom has been away an awful lot these days and the girls were finally able to come see the reason behind the hours away!

They've been able to stop by several rehearsals and were very excited when the time finally came to see the entire production.

Maya took great pains in figuring out her outfit for the day. It was determined by how she could best look like the girls in the show! It's only a matter of time before she enters the stage officially.

A few pictures with the cast.

The girls with Rizzo!

Fin and Jan.

Maya and Doody.

And Fin with A LOT of attitude!

Swimming Lessons

2011-11-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

We are doing Saturday swimming lessons right now. This is the first time we've done the weekly schedule and I'm not sure we will do it again, but it is a great activity to do because it is just across the street!

Maya is in Level 2 and is doing fabulous. Fin is still in Beginners to develop her muscles and coordination. Neither of the girls has an ounce of fear of the water, so at least we don't have that to contend with.

Here are some pics of the girls having fun during lessons!

A Walk to the Bus

2011-11-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

I have a new toy. A toy I've been desiring for about 7 years. A toy I told myself would be my graduation present. Finally, a year and a half after graduation, I found a screaming deal and congratulated myself for surviving the MA/PhD process!

I took the new toy with us to the bus stop and got some good shots!

Enjoy.

Daddy Blog (10/31/11)

2011-10-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

Laughing As We Plunge

By: Danny Thomas

I’ve been wanting to write about these thoughts I’ve been having about presence.

About being present in my relationships
About loving kindness
Actively being kind and loving
Looking at people as connected to me
Rather than other or apart…
And how that relates to family…
Parenting in particular…
When I start to look at my children as my
Responsibilities
And their responsibilityhood starts to overshadow their human beinghood

I also have been thinking I should write about
My new job
About making the transition from
Full-time homemaker to
Working parent…
How I have missed my kids more than I imagined,
That I knew I’d miss them, but the time apart
Is a new and strange kind of heartache
But how that is counterbalanced by
A vitality and gratification I experience having a working life
That, oddly, had been taken for granted in jobs I had prior to full-time homemaker.
I hope to not lose sight of that again.

But these musings are pushed out of my mind
by something else
Altogether…
By a problem more pervasive, more distressing,
More immediate.
A real-world mystery that needs solving, but may, in actuality, be without a solution.

The unrelenting question is this:
How can we be using 6 rolls of toilet paper a week?

Look, I know I’m probably sharing too much
If the topic makes you uncomfortable I apologize.
I don’t always have great boundaries with regard to bathroom matters…
In fact, I once carried on a conversation with Jen and a few of her classmates
For the better part of an afternoon
Regarding from which angle one approaches wiping…

As uncomfortable as these topics may be, we can always learn from sharing, right?
Anyway,
I can’t figure out how to reason with a three-year-old about
Toilet paper usage.
We didn’t come across this particular challenge the first time around.
Tho, the five-year-old has recently discovered how fun it is to watch the roll spin
When you get it going fast, the paper really shoots off of there…

We have the older one counting sheets now…
Seems to help.
Look I want them to be thorough,
but this is a very old house, with very old plumbing…

I have cast out to friends and family
Virtually and in person
Seeking advice on these matters
And several friends have come up with great advice
Most of it coming down to
Figuring out how to have a somewhat philosophical approach…
And I guess that’s what we have to do…
To keep our sense of humor
So we can continue
Laughing as we plunge…

Daddy Blog (10/10/11)

2011-10-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Until Time Changes That Too

By: Danny Thomas

Dear Maya,

Today I walked to the end of the street,
to your bus stop
5 minutes early,
then walked home.
Yesterday you wanted to walk home alone.

I don’t know what to do today.
We didn’t talk about it this morning.
It’s hard.
Watching you grow, letting it happen (as if I had a choice…),
Making it happen.
You are growing, brave and independent
I am so proud of that, so proud of you.
Still it’s hard to take the risk,
To let you take the risk.

I think one of the dichotomies of being a parent is that,
While you get to re-experience the joys of childhood
You also have to relive
Just how hard it is to be a child
When all this change,
this transience, is new.

I feel like, even at thirty-eight years old,
I am bewildered by this experience of growing up, growing old…
And how tough it is to try to make peace with the inexorable advance of time,
the ceaseless changes time puts us through…
And I have had nearly four decades to wrap my head around it.
Even while I see that experience refracted, at least, two more times, through my parents,
and through you, my dear Maya.

And so,
we’ll keep waiting for the bus together in the morning…
And I’ll keep finding some reason to be at the end of the driveway watching for you when you
get home…
Until time changes that too…

Whew

2011-10-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

After a long, long hiatus we may be back up and running. Our laptop hard-drive borked while we were in Seattle for vacation. Thankfully we had done a full back-up before leaving on our trip but it took a long time to manage to get the system restore to fully load. Thus....the break.

Anyhow. We are getting the pictures loaded onto the computer and hopefully we will work on getting caught up a bit. So don't forget to check in the July/August/September folders in the next few weeks.

Daddy Blog (9/26/11)

2011-09-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

A Letter to Fin

By: Danny Thomas

Dear Finley,

I am starting to see
How much
I am
going to learn from you,
Sweet child.

The other day
On our walk
Thru campus
You wanted to stop and watch the fountain.
“Okay.” I said, and stood on the sidewalk holding your hand.
“No, Daddy,” you insisted, “let’s sit…

(pause)

On the grass.”

And so we did.

On a cool September morning
Surrounded by a bustling
Human ant hill,

I sat with you
and watched the ripples
In the water
dance with the sunlight.

My mind started to go to those grown-up places…
Self-Conscious -What are those busy people thinking? Should we be sitting here? Do they think I’m weird? Lost? Homeless?
Hurried -There are things to be done. Laundry? Cleaning? Shopping?

Then I realized,
sitting with you
By the pond
watching water,
picking grass,
counting leaves…

This is the thing to be done.

Thanks for that.
And thanks,
in advance,
for all the things you’ll show me and remind me and teach me
as we grow up together.

Love,
Dad

Spirit Day

2011-09-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today was Maya's first "Spirit Day" as a Moorhead Spud. Orange and Black were pretty easy to find as it is Halloween time!

Fin really has her own kind of "spirit"!

Enjoy.

Ice Cream Treats

2011-09-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes ice cream is the answer to a challenging day or an exciting day or any old day!

Adventure Walk

2011-09-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

Danny and Fin have adventures on her non-school days. On this particular day Fin suggested some hangout time by the pond/fountain on campus. So they bundled up and enjoyed a brisk fall morning and one another's company.

Monkeys in Trees

2011-09-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

On a bike riding adventure these wild beasts were spotted.

Daddy Blog (9/12/11)

2011-09-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Grass is Always Greener

By: Danny Thomas

Over the last part of this season, as summer wanes…

The mornings get colder

And all of these emotions

Run together;

Sadness that summer is ending,

The end of free days…

Then there is the anticipation for school and fall weather…

And the approach of the holidays…

That strange languor

sets in…

Summer is kind of used up.

The grass is browning, and the yard is hard.

Vacations and trips to the beach have been had…

The backyard pool, rescued from strange plant life and floating mysteries,

has been dried out, rolled up and put away.

The hectic schedule of summer activities

has given way to a limbo of in-between time…

Waiting for the new, hectic schedule of fall activities to kick in.

For me, as a kid, television was the savior of this time of year.

The end of summer blues were somewhat alleviated by that glowing gleaming god of lassitude the T.V.

Mine was not a T.V. family, in fact, for a good portion of my childhood we were completely without one.

I think my parents were tired of them breaking, so they just stopped buying them, my first lesson about planned obsolescence.

As a kid growing up in the eighties, a home without a television set was somewhat anomalous.

Thing is, I still remember so much television in the summer time, Gilligan’s Island and Brady Bunch on
repeat. The Banana Splits, Scooby Doo, and the gang, Flinstones… Starblazers… Then there was
Jabberjaw and Captain Caveman, which were essentially the same as Scooby Doo.. let’s not forget Bugs
and Daffy and all the Warner Bros gang. And eventually somewhere in there came MTV.

I guess I spent a lot of time hanging out at the neighbors’…

Those cartoons and programs, however oddly, helped to form
and inform my world view, my aesthetic, my sense of humor, and I don’t think that is an entirely bad
thing. For all of the various negative reinforcement you can find in many cartoons — about
stereotypes, gender roles, violence, etc – there are some good lessons too, determination, creative
problem solving, the value of humor, acceptance and certainly in many cases the artistry involved in the work itself is admirable…

As summer 2011 comes to a close,
And I uncover all the well-worn grooves of the feelings of the end of summer,
And as my kids make their way through seemingly infinite Pink Panthers, Phineas and Ferbs, and Mr.
Beans, not to mention innumerable viewings of Strawberry Shortcake, The Movie… peppered with the
occasional Xanadu, Funny Girl, or Singin’ In the Rain… maybe a foreign kid movie or
documentary here and there…

I find myself caught in a bit of an internal struggle

I am okay with them spending an afternoon watching T.V. - even if it’s sunny outside, but at the same time I feel guilty…

It seems to very much go against popular child rearing opinion to be okay with your kids zoning out in front of the T.V.

My kids are active, imaginative, creative and vital human beings,
I’m not worried about lethargy, or rotting their brains.

Obviously, I have the typical parental instinct to tell my kids to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather,

and in fact, to get out there and enjoy it with them (when I’m not buried in laundry, dishes, or other

annoying housework).

But, If we’ve spent all morning riding bikes and building lego spaceships, then I have no qualms with

letting the little lugs spend a bit of the afternoon zoning out in front of the tube.

There, I said it.

Family Pics

2011-09-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

We had to take some pictures for a project at Finley's school. We are a bunch of whack-jobs. Informal and so ridiculously us!

Starting Ballet (for reals)

2011-09-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

All last year Maya asked/begged/pleaded to take ballet classes. We held off because we were making sure we were settled, until we had some sense of which studio we wanted to work with and how our financial situation would work out. This year we decided to just throw caution to the wind and get her going. So...here we go!

It is a lot more structured than anything she has done before. And it is an hour long. AND it is from 5pm-6pm which is the witching hour after a very long day at school. She loves it and does a really good job with the occasional meandering or distracted action! (see above 2 pictures)

Daddy Blog (8/29/11)

2011-08-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

Making the Most of This Day

By: Danny Thomas

Making the most of this day.

The to-do list…

At the top is always my children

But it seems like every thing on the list,

That gets put off,

Pushed back or set behind

Is ultimately for them, too

Or for the family.

Laundry, housework, tidying…

Cleaning the bathrooms.

Hanging the curtains,

or the pictures that have been sitting long enough

in the hallway that I don’t even see them there

anymore.

Mowing the lawn

The list goes on…

and on…

Here’s the thing:

I want to delight in the joy of their childhood,

I want them to delight in it, to shine…

I don’t want to spend the days we have together

Finding ways to distract them or

keep them occupied

So I can “get things done”

I want to build things with Legos.

Make Art.

Race slot cars.

Go on bike rides.

Dance.

I want to bake cookies

Keep a balanced diet and a balanced budget.

Exercise.

And have a clean and stylish house

A decent lawn.

And a healthy family.

I also want time for my creative life; playing music, working in theatre, reading and writing.

And I want my children to do all those things

With me and on their own.

And I haven’t figured out yet

I guess,

How to balance both…

I find I feel like I’m always putting one aside for the other.

I tell myself this is the path to balance,

I wonder how I can be sure I’m making the most of each day.

Daddy Blog (8/17/11)

2011-08-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

The More Things Change

By: Danny Thomas

Transience

Probably my favorite subject…

Bittersweet impermanence…

Love.

Loss.

Learning.

Changes.

I think there is something of a march to it, time.

But it meanders too, like a stream, or a cumulonimbus…

or a thought.

At times, maybe most of the time, it seems to go in all directions at once.

I returned home to a house we’ve lived in for less than a month,

After a two-week trip to the Pacific Northwest

And felt a strange mixture of emotions when I realized I was glad to be home…

and what that meant

now that home is here, in Moorhead, Minnesota

and not

The Pacific Northwest.

But it was a solid glad, an it-feels-good-to-be-breathing-this-air kind of glad to be home, an I-really-enjoy-the-look-and-feel-of-this-topography-and-I-recognize-it-and-feel-a-place-here kind of glad.

And that didn’t feel altogether good,

Because, up until that moment, there was really only one place that I felt that kind of glad to be home.

Man it’s hard.

Bear in mind that I was at the tail end of, like, a ten-hour travel day that included driving, flying, crossing at least one time zone, and more than a handful of meltdowns… also a very tall mojito…

So my mental state was one prone to a little philosophical, existential pondering.

(The trip was amazing and exhausting and heartbreaking and exhilarating)

Being with friends and family brought joy beyond description, meeting new people, new amazing families brought the thrill of adventure and the delight of new experiences…

I was sad about not getting to see some of my friends in Seattle and Eugene.

I was sad about saying good bye to the people I did see.

I was sad because, from now on, and for several years past,
Whenever I go back, to visit places I’ve lived…

Everything is or will be different.

Enough is the same that I am lulled into a sense of relief, comforted…

But then

I start to realize, I am not reassured

Entirely.

This sense that the footing is unsure, that what was is gone…

Well it’s just there.

It’s in among all the familiar comforts.

I had a thought today as my girl played for the first time in the neighbors’ pool supervised only by a pair of teenage girls among a family dynamic that is, in countless ways, foreign from our own.

The thought was this: losing one’s innocence, while it may be perpetual, is trifling when compared with the sting of seeing your children lose theirs.

Daddy Blog (8/3/11)

2011-08-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

A Family Vacation

By: Danny Thomas

I am writing this blog on the 6^th day of a 14-day family vacation.

I spent most of July packing and moving our family across town… and finished that project just in time to pack and load our family into a car for a 4-hour drive to Minneapolis. Then loaded them all onto a plane for a 3-hour flight and another 5-hour drive from Seattle to Eugene, Oregon. Tomorrow we drive back to Seattle.

I feel like every part of this vacation, literally moment by moment, has been a profusion of mixed blessings…

We have experienced so much fortune, so much joy in our togetherness, and so much kindness and generosity from the friends and loved ones we’ve been able to visit…

We have also driven each other batty and tested the limits of each other’s patience and flexibility, and we are not even half way!

The visit to Eugene has been bittersweet; we lived here for seven years, had two kids here, bought a house, built some incredible relationships and friendships, and laid down a lot of roots – revisiting that is hard for a number of reasons, we can’t recapture it, none of us wants to leave, and yet we feel solidly that we have moved on… that we have made a home in our new place – we feel comfortable and happy in Fargo-Moorhead.

There is no way to do all the things we want to do, or see all the people we want to see in the time we have here. I know many many people who, when returning to a past home, have experienced this very same thing.

I am trying to figure out what to learn from this, what to take away…

One of the themes, for me, of parenting, of life, has been the idea of adjusted expectations, I’ve written about it before – heck, in some ways I’m writing about it all the time.

Vacation with a family is, in many ways, hyper-family time, and for those of us stay at home parents it is not a break, per se. So it becomes an incredible exercise in adjusted expectations.

If you think of vacation as time with your feet up, or lying poolside sipping margaritas, or even hiking through the woods restoring your mind and soul, communing with nature and exploring… well all of those things can happen on a family vacation, but family vacation is different from that.

And once again I find myself thinking of my parents and my experiences growing up and, once again my respect and admiration for them grows exponentially, along with my gratitude for the experiences they provided for my brother and me.

Daddy Blog (7/19/11)

2011-07-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

July

By: Danny Thomas

july…

summer

sunblock and bug spray

popsicles and bike rides

wet

hot

steam and sweat

the ice cream man

ice cream sandwiches

hot dogs

bonfires

late nights

s’mores

Frisbee

soccer

shorts

sandals

barefoot

sunburns

eyes that sting – from sun, and chlorine…

days filled with games and play and arts and crafts

thunderstorms

melon

taco salad

bike rides

and music outside

camping

bar b q’s potato salad and chips

daycamp

theatre camp

pool time and water play

squirt gun fights and water balloon wars…

itchy skin from grass and sweat and sunshine…

picking strawberries

boat rides

some of the things that

–and luckily even with all the busy-ness that comes from

moving, and working, and being in theatrical productions–

my wife and I have been able to provide for our girls…

I find it strange how it becomes important to expose our kids to some of the things we had, and how we don’t want them to be exposed to some of the things we experienced, and how we discern that… and how they will find their own way, no matter what, and be exposed to things we can’t imagine, but some of these things, these summer things, just seem to make up the fabric of my character and it makes me immeasurably happy to be able to experience them again with my kids.

Blogger Daddy Strikes Again

2011-07-11T18:24:00.000-07:00

Home is Where the Heart is

The Next Family
By: Danny Thomas

In my last blog I explored the tired expression, “it takes a village to raise a child…” This month a different platitude has permeated my consciousness. “Home is where the heart is” – especially potent because we are moving… again…

As I spent last Sunday morning sweeping, scrubbing, and clearing out a porch, I was pondering, what is it that makes a home? While my mother-in-law and wife scrubbed and painted inside, I swept sixteen layers of dust off the porch and the reality of once again uprooting and replanting ourselves began to hit.

All. the. stuff.

Moving is hard, sure, but this time, compared to last year, should be a breeze, in so many ways; we are only moving across town, not 1200 miles, we have about a month to spend doing it, we know where we are going…

But it’s never easy is it?

I fantasize about being the kind of person who can carry everything they need or want on their back, or of having a clean, clutter-free house, ergonomically outfitted and streamlined. Not like a motel room, obviously. It would be cozy and comfortable, but there would not be a size six pair of underwear on every flat surface, I would not trip over a pair of shoes around every corner (admittedly, usually my own). The stacks of paperwork would not grow exponentially in corners of basement closets.

But that’s not who I am, that’s not my family. And it’s really okay, it’s more than okay, it’s home.

I am worried about the new house, it’s old, it’s shaped weird. There are parts of it that will never be clean… I don’t know how we are going to fit ourselves into the awkward spaces, and make it feel right.

But something amazing has happened in this process, this time. While expressing my worries to friends and family I have gotten, repeatedly, an astounding compliment, “Oh, you guys always make your place feel like home, it doesn’t matter where you are, you guys always create such a comfortable atmosphere.” (that’s paraphrasing a few people). Well, I couldn’t be prouder.

Now if I could just master the nose twitch like Samantha and zap everything over to the new house in an instant, we could skip all the hard labor and life would be perfect.

First Weekend in the House and other news

2011-06-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

We stayed in our house for the first time this weekend. Grandma Sandy drove up again to help us get a huge portion of the big stuff moved from the old house. Our friends Britt and Jaron helped as well. It was amazing! We got so much done. Everyone was thoroughly exhausted but it felt good to get a big chunk behind us. Mom worked over-time and hung the curtains in Fin and Maya's rooms and the living room. We only have our bedroom curtains left. I'm guessing they will not be hung until Grandma gets up here in August. :P

At the beginning of June we found out (rather suddenly) that Fin's school would be closing in 2 days. We hustled around looking for another part-time childcare option. Thankfully our friends Kirsten and Jaron were willing to split a spot at Cobber Kids which is about 3 blocks away from the new digs. So this means...Monday morning we all walked Fin to her school! She loved it!

This way guys!!!

Excited to keep moving!

Hugs from Grandma Sandy. (Note the coffee cups in hand. Everyone was needing a bit of a pick-me-up after the long weekend.)

Standing outside of the school.

Peering into the classroom.

2011-06-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

In my last blog I explored the tired expression, “it takes a village to raise a child…” This month a different platitude has permeated my consciousness. “Home is where the heart is” - especially potent because we are moving… again…

As I spent last Sunday morning sweeping scrubbing and clearing out a porch, I was pondering, what is it that makes a home? While my mother-in-law and wife scrubbed and painted inside, I swept sixteen layers of dust off the porch and the reality of once again uprooting and replanting ourselves began to hit.

All. the. stuff.

But it’s never easy is it?

But that’s not who I am, that’s not my family. And it’s really okay, it’s more than okay, it’s home.

But something amazing has happened in this process, this time. While expressing my worries to friends and family I have gotten, repeatedly, an astounding compliment, “Oh, you guys always make you place feel like home, it doesn’t matter where you are, you guys always create such a comfortable atmosphere.” (that’s paraphrasing a few people). Well, I couldn’t be prouder.

Now if I could just master the nose twitch like Samantha and zap everything over to the new house in an instant, we could skip all the hard labor and life would be perfect.

Park Time with Daddy!

2011-06-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

Fin and Danny took a solo trip to the park! It was very hot out but they had a great time!

Self-Photo

Dandelion time.

Looking coy by the swing.

Yucking it up!

2011-06-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Fin is a funny, funny kid.

Where there's a will...

2011-06-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

there's a stage.

Painting the New Digs

2011-06-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

Grandma Sandy came up and helped us paint the new digs.

Maya's room was a violent pepto pink. We toned it down a bit.

Fin got a new lavandar wall and a fresh coat of white on the ceiling and additional walls.

And our room got a gray/blue/silver color.

The main living space was a very noisy yellow color. We lightened it up with a beige/tan/taupe color that we adore.

Grandma and Jen were exhausted from painting and Danny was exhausted from girl-chasing but we were all happy with the results!

Soccer Day #2

2011-06-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Maya totally "jocked" it up tonight at soccer. She owned the field and had a great time doing it! Fin, on the other hand, allowed us to capture some great shots of her!

In action!

Running the ball.

A bit tired midway through.

Being a ham when it is all said and done.

And our Fin. Such a brilliant shot.

Maya & Daddy at the Zoo

2011-06-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

The girls love when there is a special trip just for one of them. Today Maya and Danny headed over to the zoo for an afternoon adventure.

Starting the journey.

Explaining to the goats that Dad forgot the quarters to buy feed for them.

A ride on the carousel, of course.

And the parting shot! Such good peeps!

Soccer Day #1

2011-06-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

We signed Maya up for soccer this summer. She is out of school for the summer and has been desperately craving activity. So...what's better than burning some energy off plus she thinks soccer "costumes" are pretty awesome.

Getting ready to head out to the field.

Doing some drills.

Biggest fans.

Water break.

Cartwheel break. She got a bit distracted! :D

Excitedly coming off the field at the end of practice.

Re-hydrating on the car ride home.

Sisters....Sisters...

2011-06-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes sisters like to go for walks to the park.
And sometimes sisters like to go to the park in matching jammies.

Soooo Behind

2011-06-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

It has been months since we have updated the blog. That doesn't mean that we haven't been up to anything, rather we have been chasing around trying to keep fires put out during the first year of life in Fargo/Moorhead.

I am going to post a bunch of stuff from the past 6-7 months. The posts will be back dated, so for those of you without Google Reader or the like you will have to page through to find the new updates.

Hopefully we will be more diligent about our blogging in the future; I won't be holding my breath!

At the Lake

2011-06-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

Sara Forsythe (now Carney) was in town from Seattle and she invited us and the McThor's out to her parent's cabin near Detroit Lakes. It was crazy windy but we had an awesome time playing, chatting, and grilling. Exactly what we are supposed to do in the summer!

Maya quickly donned her swimsuit. The majority of us had wraps on to keep us warm from the 30 and 40 mile an hour wind gusts but not our Maya!

The whole crew lakeside.
Fin quickly followed suit. The kids played in the water for most of the afternoon. Periodically they would get out of their swimsuits and wrap up in their towels to wrap up. We caught this moment during one of the transitions! :P

The Kool-Aid lips of summer!

Bryce graciously took multiple rides around the property on his four-wheeler. Maya couldn't get enough!

Finley, on the other hand, didn't think much of the loud noise-making machine! We convinced her to sit on it when the engine was off but even then she was quickly reaching for dad's arms!

Maya talked the entire way home. I'm pretty sure if she would have been silent for more than 15 seconds she would have been out cold like this one....

A wonderful time was had by all. A heartfelt thanks to the Forsythe-Carney families for their hosting!

Parenting as a Venn Diagram

2011-06-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

Jen and I co-parent (as much as I dislike that term, I haven’t come up with a better one, yet). We operate as a team on so many levels, always have, even before we were parents, instinctively, and yet…

There is so much to talk about and so much that we don’t have time to talk about.

I think we, as parents, have instincts, techniques, styles that are not always the same, and I often have to remind myself that both perspectives, even while they are divergent, are valuable to our children’s experience and development. We give each other little reminders now and then, temper, tone, patience, relax… Sometimes the reminder happens now when it should wait until then…

In some cases, obviously, we have to come to an agreement, a compromise; in others we are seeking solutions together, sometimes desperately; and in still others we coax each other along – it requires fluid, on-the-fly, adaptability… as well as a solid plan of action. We took some classes, we’ve talked things thru… we’ve had some counseling, all of that has helped, and yet…

There are things that are not so much situations or decisions, just the how of parenting… the moments, our bodies and our voices, how we talk and move, how we play and work…

And there are times when I find myself thinking, by reflex, that my “how” is better or smarter or more efficient. Or times when I feel guilty or bad for not being able to work or talk with our kids the way Jen does. I try to remind myself, in those moments, that neither is better, neither is worse, that both ways have value, in fact, that the old platitude, “it takes a village to raise a kid…” while it may seem trite, is, after all, a belief I subscribe too. Many points of view, many styles of motivation, discipline, many styles of work, and play are important, healthy for my kids to experience. Even beyond Jen and me, our friends and family, teachers and coaches, directors and dance instructors, all have something to offer, a different viewpoint or strategy for tackling a problem, celebrating an accomplishment.

The kids respond differently to us, we respond differently to the kids and that’s a good thing… the kids are not the only ones who have something to learn from that experience.

This last month Jen and I each took a week to travel. We are not generally a couple who travel apart, and the idea of separate vacations, while in theory may sound nice, I think we depend on and enjoy each other too much for the reality of that to appeal to us. We just both happened to have things come up – neither of which was vacation, per se, but I think both of us felt rested and refreshed as a result. I think the time away gave us perspective.

It certainly allowed me to see, both while she was gone, and while I was away, how much we work together as a team, how much we accomplish together, and how much I depend on her voice, her strength, and her humor. It became crystal clear to me, the venn diagram that is our relationship, our marriage, and our family…

There are places where we intersect, we meet in the middle, on occasion we push, pull, or cajole each other into that middle ground, and there are parts of us that will never intersect. And our kids need all of that, and bring their own stuff into the mix as well…

posted at The Next Family
by: Danny Thomas

Puddle Jumping

2011-05-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

During an especially torrential downpour, Fin asked if she could go outside and play. We said, "Sure, go get your swimsuit!" And this is what happened!

Umbrellas were quickly requested. Apparently rainwater isn't very warm! :P

A little divot quickly became primo puddle-stomping grounds!

Exhaustion and a little bit of a chill.

The Inspector was still at work after the rain let up. She was beguiled by the water spouts.

Preschool Graduation

2011-05-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Maya graduated from preschool on Friday, May 19th. There was a wonderful ceremony and this is just a little tidbit of it.

Last day of school picture (even if a little disassembled looking):

Compared with the first day from September!

Odin wanted to have a "special" lunch out after the last day of school. He choose the gas station/car wash. Maya and Fin joined him and they had an absolute blast!!!

My Mom is My Hero

2011-05-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Everyday I spend as a parent I feel this more and more.

It is no coincidence that I am a homemaker like she.

I strive to honor her and that designation everyday.

She worked harder than anyone I know.

She, along with my dad, supported our family, to keep us fed, clean,

out of jail…

I have only begun to feel the strain of that work.

It is because of my mom that I clap for Tinkerbell;

That I believe in magic…

It is, at least somewhat, because of my mom that I grew up valuing cultural enrichment.

She used to take us at least once a month or so to the U-District, to the Neptune or the Varsity. Her appreciation for music is broad and deep, eclectic and passionate. We went to the theatre from an early age – a place where I eventually found my second home –and my true love… we went to the library on a weekly basis… and we went to every festival in the Puget Sound area…

My mother is passionate about truth and knowledge, two things I cherish, and values I intend to pass on to my children…

She taught me about strength

about sacrifice

and compromise

and devotion

and loyalty…

about patience and openness

about transformation and transience…

about feelings and the value in the exchange of ideas

she taught me how to balance a checkbook (not that I do…)

and about the joy of road trips, also known as Fun Family Outings

and she continues to teach me every time we talk on the phone

she is noble, and humble

she is strong and gentle

in her kitchen she concocts recipes of love and more…

she taught me that you could be poised and classy, while vacuuming around

a stack of framed pictures…

I think it is my mother’s influence that has shown me the light of the world

and inspired me to have children, and share that light with them…

through words

and acts

and music

and food

through quiet

and firelight

and shadows

and dancing…

I have the utmost gratitude for my mother.

by The Next Family
by: Danny Thomas

Nearly 3

2011-05-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

means...

BIG KID SWINGS!!!!

And a fair amount of "attitude"!

Bike Maintenance

2011-05-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

aka...an excuse to play in the water!

Maya stayed pretty focused on the bikes.

Getting the dirt and grime off with a smile!

Fin, on the other hand, washed whatever tripped her fancy. Including the ground.

But she did her searching with intensity!

We Survived Mini-Vacation

2011-05-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

As a reward for surviving our first year in Fargo/Moorhead we headed down to the Cities for a couple of days.

We surprised the girls with the trip and tickets to go see the staged version of "Pinkalicious" (one of their favorite books). They were less than enthusiastic about the surprise when it was revealed.

Thankfully the excitement grew as we took off on our adventure! We had lunch at the park/rest stop just north of Alexandria. This location has become a family favorite.

The girls took lunch breaks to swing.

Meanwhile, Danny entertained himself catching Pirates Booty in his mouth.

This was the scene within moments of getting to the hotel.

After a swim we headed out for a walk to see the Mississippi River.

After all the hustle and bustle of the day, this is what we ended up with!

Thursday was was our day of theatre. The entire family enjoyed Stages' production of "Pinkalicious".

The girls outside.

The set was fabulous.

With Pinkalicious herself after the show.

Thursday evening one of Jen's students came to the hotel to babysit the girls and Danny and Jen got to go and see "Next to Normal" at the Ordway. It was phenomenal and it was great to have a night off together after a really, really long first year of teaching!

Friday morning we had breakfast with an college friend of Jen's and then we headed back up to home. We had thought about using the afternoon to go to the Children's Museum but we thought it was going to push everyone to the brink. And considering the car ride, we were right!

Park Pranksters

2011-05-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

Fun with Daddy! Lunch in the park and bubbles at home.

Delicate Ones!

A little more personality.

Picking posies.

Our girls.

Bubbles at home.

Characters

2011-05-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

There is something about this tilted knee

and this set of fists...

that slays me.

We are blessed with strange and beautiful children!

Homemaking Has No End

2011-05-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

Posted at The Next Family
By: Danny Thomas

So, I’ve spent the last year or so a stay-at-home dad. In that time my children have turned two and five, my wife has finished a doctoral degree, and we have moved across the country, among other things… it’s been tumultuous, to say the least. It has also been, alternately, totally fulfilling and somewhat demoralizing…

I’m starting to think about going back to work.

I had this weird thing happen some time in February. I was in a Hallmark with Lil’ Chaos, musta been looking for valentines or something. As we were leaving we passed a snow shovel just inside the door. I had this strange compulsion to pick it up and shovel the sidewalk. If you know me you know that I am no stranger to manual labor, and don’t exactly shy away from it; however, I am rarely the first to volunteer to shovel a sidewalk.

As I pondered this compulsion I started to realize that what was appealing about it was the idea of a job that had a beginning, a middle, and an end. Parenting, homemaking has no end. You finish the breakfast dishes and boom! there is lunch. You finally get the laundry folded and put away and boom! there’s a load of towels and a load of kid clothes staring you down.

It is a strange dichotomy. I have worked many, many jobs with amorphous and immeasurable job descriptions. Hell, most of my jobs over the last ten years have fallen under such descriptions, but working as a full-time parent is more gratifying and at the same time takes an immense toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is never-ending. There is no fiscal remuneration, the feedback is like the schedule, catch-as-catch-can, and there is endless room for improvement.

I think the snow shovel looked attractive because the idea of shoveling a sidewalk, seeing the finished job and knowing that my contribution was well done and appreciated, is a satisfaction I have to eek out as a homemaker.

Don’t get me wrong: there are countless ways my family and friends acknowledge my day-to-day work. I get my strokes. Just looking at or being with my kids is a satisfaction in and of itself, but it’s different than a paycheck, or an approved final draft, or a happy customer…

But we have gotten comfortable with all the benefits of having a full-time, stay-at-home parent. We are struggling, as a family, to figure out how to get me back to work, what kind of job will fit best. I need the structure, the sense of completion, and the money won’t hurt either. I am nervous about re-adjusting to being in the workforce too, re-acclimating…

I have a gig right now DJ-ing proms and weddings. It has the potential to be a good fit in that it is flexible, does not alter our schedule too much, and is fun! But it is long, hard hours when I do work, and I wonder if working a few days a week for a few hours would be an easier alteration to our lives. It’s hard to know. I really don’t know how parents who work full time or single parents manage it at all.

Mega Easter Post

2011-04-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

We spread the Easter festivities out over a couple of days because we had gotten several packages from grandparents in the mail.

From Grandma Sandy.

This was the moment of the infamous Tangled video. (I will post this as a separate post. It is brilliant.)

Organizing the chocolates.

From Grandma Barb and Grandpa Jack. Umbrellas, dresses from Mexico and lots of other treats!

Easter morning.

Sorting through the eggs.

On the hunt for the baskets. The bunny was wily this year and not only hid the baskets, but hid them separate from one another.

Maya found Fin's first.

She got really, really nervous that the bunny didn't leave her anything but she soon found her loot which included a SCOOTER!!!

Glamorous with a mouthful of chocolate!

Candy overload!

The afternoon was spent at the McThors. There was baseball and bike riding and lots of fun!